Bunny Themelis

“Settle this debate for me: my roomate and I are both in our 20s. She’s trying to start a business and I’m a writer. I say what’s most important is finishing what you start, and she argues that abandoning projects is ok if they no longer feel right. Who’s more right?”

howtobeperfect:

Bunny:

First, I’d like to ask you why you think it’s important to establish a neat dichotomy like this in the first place. Surely, in reality, there are some situations where following through is most important, and some where cutting your losses is the smarter move.

But you seem preoccupied with finding the One True Ring of what to do in life. I’m here to tell you some bad news: there is no one way. What’s good for you, might not be good for me, and vice versa, and that’s ok.

What does success mean to you? Is it making a lot of money? Is it working at something you’re passionate about? Is it both of these things?

Well, obviously you want us to tell you what to think. No problem. I’d say that if you are pursuing careers that are based on dreams, I’d err on the side of finishing what you start ONLY if others are depending on you. That’s really when it matters. There’s no mystical teacher in the great beyond keeping a tally of all your complete projects. Finishing what you start is important when you are trying to show other people you’re worth working with. If you find yourself overwhelmed, then stop saying yes to so many things.

Abandoning projects also takes its own special finesse. If there’s no one to be disappointed in you but you, well then go ahead, quit that shit! Finishing for finishing’s sake is something people taught you as a child so you’d sit down, shut up and finish your goddamn vegetables. But you’re a grown-ass person now, and you can do whatever you want. Stop creating false cages of commitments for yourself. This attitude often is a way to judge people as inferior to you because your work ethic is like ZOMG so awesome! You hardly sleep! You don’t nurture your relationships! You eat poorly because you’re SOOOO BUSY.

You get no cookies for self-abuse in the name of ‘productivity’; just wrinkles.

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